What an Opportunity!
Through a tremendous team effort and a bit of luck, Markku Vesala, Jack Rubinacci and Hazel Goedhart were able to secure a testimonial from a very special individual: Mr. William Shatner. He got tinnitus as a young actor on the set of Star Trek and is known by many in the tinnitus community for speaking out about his experiences.
For the past several months, I have served as a volunteer member of the Tinnitus Quest Outreach Task Force. I joined many passionate people from around the globe, all of us lending our talents to spread the mission of Tinnitus Quest far and wide. But I never expected to be asked to meet Mr. Shatner as part of my volunteer work.
While Jack is typically in charge of conducting recording sessions, he was unable to make the trip out to Los Angeles. Luckily, I was able to make some adjustments to my schedule at school and soon enough made the arrangements to fly from the East Coast of the US for a once-in-a-lifetime meeting with Mr. Shatner.
Getting Ready
Much of my own effort since joining the world of tinnitus has been in fostering communication about the subject: first, through my podcast, How I Got Tinnitus, where I have shared my own story alongside those of artists, musicians, clinicians, and many others. But also, since rejoining academia in pursuit of an education in psychology and hearing science I have been tirelessly dedicated to connecting with others willing to talk to me about tinnitus. Most of my friends can attest to the fact that I have a running list of ‘celebrities with tinnitus’, and hardly a day goes by that I don’t blurt out “they have tinnitus!” in a conversation about such and such person. If I could, I would talk to every single one of them about it. So, in many ways, I felt ready for this opportunity.
I spent the weeks leading up to my departure discussing almost every aspect of the trip with the team. Jack connected me with filmmaker Marco Bazzi, the videographer whom we contracted on location. Our fearless leader Hazel Goedhart helped to write a concise script for Mr. Shatner. Markku Vesala, overseer of so many behind-the-scenes technical aspects related to Tinnitus Quest, checked and double-checked details and shipped me some very special collectible cards and other merchandise to have signed by Mr. Shatner. Jack imagined and walked us through every step of the process in painstaking detail. I joined him in this endeavor by mapping my route, working out details like timing, practicing my introductions, researching the man himself, and going over the finer points of teleprompter technology, the logistics of setting up a film shoot in a new location within a limited time frame, and so much more.
While flying across the country, sipping in-flight coffee and munching on complimentary Biscoff cookies, I fervently wrote notes, rehearsed, and ran through infinite combinations of made-up scenarios. (Luckily, I didn’t have to execute my traverse-a-pit-of-snakes while being chased by a robot tiger strategy). I arrived in LA on a cloudy, grey Wednesday and spent an almost embarrassing amount of time in my room listening to Maroon 5, doing pushups and staring at Google Maps as if my life depended on it. I went to sleep at 8 PM to make sure I was well-rested for the big day.
Setting Up
On the day, at a studio building in North Hollywood, we only had 30 minutes to set up our equipment and then 30 minutes with Mr. Shatner. Marco and I met outside the location way too early, and took the opportunity to get to know each other, sharing our stories, and talking over our plan. I’ve done a decent amount of work in audio-visual media and in my years of work as a chef I’m used to executing to an exacting standard under pressure, but I’d be lying if I told you I wasn’t sweating a little in my smart, crisp white shirt under my really cool (if I do say so myself) Italian blazer.
Ten minutes before our scheduled time to enter the space, I rang up Shatner’s team to let them know we were there. Maybe it’s because I live in a small town in New England and am not necessarily used to the precision and professionalism of The Big City, but I learned that when a major star gives you 30 minutes to set up, they mean 30 minutes! As the clock was ticking and we were waiting to be let inside, Marco and I grew silent. We had been chatting healthily for about an hour at that point, but I’m guessing we were both in a very similar place of getting-in-the-zone.
“Are you the crew?” we were asked, when the door opened. When you’re thousands of miles away from home on a high-pressure mission to capture a very special moment for a very special cause after many hours preparing, it is a weird feeling to be asked if you’re “the crew.” I managed to kind of give an anxious half-nod, grabbed a bundle of Marco’s gear and my own belongings, and felt like I was about to go on stage.
Mr. Shatner’s team, including two friendly and curious Doberman Pinschers, welcomed us. I could hear Mr. Shatner’s voice in another room. My mind was swirling, but I had a job to do. While I had only brought a small bag of items to potentially have Mr. Shatner sign, Marco had brought a whole rig: studio lights, flags, a camera, shotgun mic, stands, cables, laptop, teleprompter, and more. All of these had to be unfolded, assembled, uncoiled, plugged in, positioned, tightened, checked, re-checked, and checked again. I tried my best to assist Marco, who quickly assessed the scene: close these blinds, turn these lights on, these lights off, that mirror over there is going to be a challenge, position the chair here… I have to say, it was most impressive. Someone from Mr. Shatner’s team came in to check whether we would be ready at the scheduled time. I once again managed a fairly derpy half-nod. Maybe I managed to mutter something in the affirmative. I like to say I don’t get stage fright, but maybe that’s just pride talking.
The Big Moment
Then Mr. William Shatner, flanked by his two Dobermans, entered the room. Maybe that sounds imposing, but it wasn’t, necessarily. And maybe I’ve been exaggerating my nervousness. Look: this was a Big Deal for me and for tinnitus patients all around the world. There was pressure, but this is what I had set out to do.
This is a process I personally began four years ago. If ever there was a time to do the thing, now was obviously the time. Believe me when I tell you we were as ready as we could be. But to have William Shatner walk into a room and say “hello, let’s get to it.” I mean, I could cry just thinking about it. I’m not a Star Trek guy. I’m not not a Star Trek guy (The Wrath of Khan was pretty good). If anything, I’m a Rescue 911 guy or a 3rd Rock From the Sun guy. But above all of these, I’m a Tinnitus Guy. I truly, madly, deeply care about helping people with tinnitus, and here I was at the threshold of a great opportunity to do this. I am still reeling from this experience (can you tell?), but sheesh. The work William Shatner has done for the world of tinnitus means a great deal to me. And here he was, about to lend Tinnitus Quest a great big helping hand.
After greeting us (“Good afternoon, gentlemen”), Shatner seated himself in front of the camera, and before I knew it, we were rolling. I was thrust into the role of teleprompter operator. And believe me when I tell you that my teleprompter operation that afternoon is the detail I’ve spent the most time mulling over since it all went down. It was nerve-wracking, to say the least. Mildly frustrating technical aspects of clicking, restarting the script made for a few hiccups, and I worried (I’m actually still worrying) that those little hiccups caused a moment’s frustration for all parties involved that day. But you know that phrase movie magic? Wow. When Shatner started to read the script, it felt like the air in the room shifted. Like someone hit the anti-gravity button. Things started to float. I mean, watch the clip for yourself and tell me different! You wanna guess how many takes we did? Guess!
One take. One take, and that was it. Shatner signed off with the weight of a thousand suns, stood up, and said, “Gentlemen, I think we got it.” The part of me that prepared four (pretty good, if I say so myself) follow-up questions was a little frustrated. I was hoping to get a little more candid moments on camera, but what was I going to do? “Mr. Shatner, could you please sit back down?” Maybe in an alternate timeline. Maybe in pre-planned eventuality #136. But not in this one.
Shatner stayed in the room with us. He sat at a desk covered with memorabilia (onto which I had surreptitiously placed a Tinnitus Quest cork coaster during setup 😉) and tucked into a sandwich while engaging us in conversation: “So, are you affiliated with this organization, are you independent contractors, or…?”
At this moment, it occurred to me that perhaps as hard as we had tried, Mr. William Shatner, for all his time and years of dedication to the tinnitus cause, didn’t fully understand the work or the nature of Tinnitus Quest, so I put on my giant novelty foam Number 1 Tinnitus Enthusiast finger (figuratively), and began to share with Mr. Shatner the precise reason Marco and myself had ended up in his studio that day.
The Conversation
For the next thirty minutes, Mr. Shatner and I spoke at length about the state of tinnitus research, funding, and awareness around the globe. I told him that Marco and I were there as direct representatives of Tinnitus Quest, myself a tinnitus patient (“But you’re so young,” he interjected — you flatter me, Mr. Shatner!) and Marco, with a history of professional drumming, a friend to the cause. I spoke to him about the mission of Tinnitus Quest to unite patients and researchers to stop the ringing. Having been in the tinnitus game for many years, he acknowledged the perceived lack of progress since he began his own tinnitus journey. I validated his concerns, acknowledging my own frustrations with tinnitus treatments and the lack of clarity from the patient perspective about what is being done to help people living with it.
I told him about the great progress we’ve made in just under a year of our being a global non-profit — from assembling a dedicated team of researchers and volunteers, establishing a legal and organizational structure, and rolling out a website and social media presence which includes our public Q&As with researchers — and how his contribution was going to make such a difference in our efforts moving forward. “We want to get our message out to the whole world,” I told him, “and your voice is going to carry that message so much further than we’ve already gone.”
I sincerely and personally thanked him for his years of contributions to the world of tinnitus awareness, from his very public conversation on Late Night With David Letterman to contributions to various hearing health-focused efforts over the years. I told him about how I had shifted my whole life around after nearly 20 years as a chef and musician when I developed tinnitus and decided to go back to school to study psychology and hearing science and to find ways to help individuals like myself who found the ringing in their ears burdensome. “Wow, so you’re hardcore” he said.
I told him everyone at Tinnitus Quest is hardcore. “We believe that by fueling innovative research we can actually silence tinnitus, and I say that because we are at a time where innovations in neuroscience research, global tinnitus awareness, and researchers young and old are investing in finding a solution.” I highlighted some of the researchers affiliated with Tinnitus Quest, including Dirk de Ridder’s inspiring speech at last year’s Tinnitus Research Initiative Conference in Vancouver, Hamid Djalilian’s middle-ear implant research, the introduction of Harvard’s Daniel Polley to our Innovation board, and recounted personal interactions I’ve had with young researchers just starting out their careers focused on tinnitus research.
I dare say my enthusiasm rubbed off on him, because our exchange hardly slowed down. Before I knew it, our scheduled thirty minutes were up, and not wanting to overstay my welcome, I thanked him once again and wished him farewell (but not before getting him to sign our collectible metal Tinnitus Quest cards!). Marco and I packed up our gear, gave the dogs one last pat on their heads, and stepped back out onto the sunny, palm tree-lined streets of Los Angeles.
Epilogue
What’s the appropriate way to wrap-up a special, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to spread awareness about the importance of funding innovative tinnitus research that just so happens to involve the participation of a truly special big-time Hollywood actor? How do a rabid, tinnitus-obsessed chef-turned-tinnitus-research-advocate and an Italian filmmaker deal with the fact that they just did the thing they set out to do? I’m still not sure. But I’ll tell you what we did: we congratulated each other for a job well done, shook hands (I think we shook twice) then thought better of it and hugged it out. Because that was cool, man. That was really cool.
Were we successful in our goal of getting world-class Canadian actor, author, director, musician (“Rocketman”, anyone?! “Common People”?!?) and producer William Shatner to kindly lend his talents to our great cause? Yes. Were there some hiccups? Yes. Could it have happened any other way? We may never know.
I will say this: almost no amount of preparation could have prepared me for that situation, yet I was prepared. Nervous? Sure. But the team at Tinnitus Quest has truly helped lift this endeavor to great heights, and I felt like an action movie star on a great adventure. I am so incredibly thankful for this opportunity to have served the global tinnitus community by being a part of this effort. Thanks definitely go to Jack Rubinacci, Sven Köllman, Hazel Goedhart, Markku Vesala, Marco Bazzi, the rest of the Tinnitus Quest team, and generous donors, past, present and future.
I have resisted Star Trek references from the start of this whole endeavor. But I’m going to wrap this all up with a line spoken by the man who brought to life the character of James T. Kirk, in my aforementioned favorite film in the catalogue, Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. It sums up what I believe is the shared ambition of myself and everyone affiliated with Tinnitus Quest: “I don’t believe in the no-win scenario.”
